Dearie me...

So the other day while I working I heard one of my colleagues who is younger than me refer to her elderly patient as "dear"; as in "It's OK dear, we're just going to move you onto this other bed now." I have HUGE HUGE HUGE issues with this, and I'm going to tell you why. Actually I'm going to stand on my soap box and rant a little.

During the first six weeks of my nursing training our instructor (her name was Mary Guise, wonderful teacher and a better human being) cautioned us new students about terms of endearment. She told us that she didn't like students referring to their patients using terms like "dear, honey, sweat-heart" and the like. I didn't fully grasp this but was certainly willing to do as I was told.

Than one day a few years later (still long before my days of paramedicine) we had to call an ambulance for my late Gramma (God rest her soul). We found her sitting on the toilet and we thought she had had a stroke. One of the paramedics that responded (she was actually a student at the time and I still know who she is) was an early 20's young lady and she called Gramma "dear". Then it clicked.

It was the most demeaning, patronizing thing I have ever heard. Who did she think she was? This 20-something girl called my Gramma "dear", bearing in mind my gramma at that point had lived almost four times as long as this patronizing medic. I know full well the medic's intention was good, maybe she thought by using a term of endearment she was bonding with the patient and putting her mind at ease. That's pure claptrap. It was insulting.

From a personal standpoint, I always refer to patients as sir or ma'am. Or Mr or Mrs so and so. Or by first name IF I ask them and IF they say it's OK to do so (they always do). That's just basic common courtesy. Ok, if I'm being completely honest, once I referred to a patient as an "ass-clown", but he was too drunk to remember. This is also how I instruct my students.

With that being said, I will say that if the patient is considerably younger than you, the medic, than you can get away with calling them "honey" or something along those lines. But only then.

It just makes me really, really mad. Before I didn't have a blog to vent my frustration. Now I do.
So parents, teach your kids that in a polite society, it's impolite to address someone you don't know by their first name unless invited to do so.

It's worse to call them "dear".