You Know You Are A Paramedic If… Part Two

These are added to what was done previously.

You know you are a Paramedic if...

…you want to invent the rectal V-vac for the "other BLS skills" code
…your idea of a good time is cracking a D-tank in the ear of your sleeping partner to "break up your shift a little"
…you reply to dispatch, "Roger, code 3 general mayonnaise" to see if anyone catches it
…eating in an ambulance IS a good clean practice
…you think bathing in 1 part bleach 10 parts water is just good hygiene
…you don't think there is anything private about asking someone if they take Viagra
…you wake up at the hospital and you aren't a patient
…you have a shower installed outside of your home for an "after work refreshment".
…you know the apartment where your patient is will be is "the last one on the right".
…you have mastered the part paramedic/part ventriloquist face when driving towards a scene with someone frantically waving you in- "Like I can't see you, you idiot-now move before I drive over both of your arms!"
…you are more worried about the patient's dog/pets than the patient.
…you think jamming that piece of pizza into the drink holder will keep it clean until you are done the call
…placing a sheet on the passenger sheet is a normal routine when taking family to the hospital in the ambulance-When asked what you are doing that for, you reply, "It is to protect you from us"
…you find yourself asking patients if they like the brand of antidepressant that they are taking to compare to your own
…you turn up your radio nice and loud screaming HA HA!! when you are beating the fire department to the call
…you sigh and say, "Oh, those buggers" when you hear, "Test page, test page only"
…you can admit that you have used the sharps holder for your coffee

And my personal favorite to date...

...you have ever farted in the truck to IMPROVE the smell.