You Know You Are A Paramedic If…

…your stethescope says “here to save your ass, not kiss it!”

...you’ve ever told a patient to “move toward the light”

…you believe some patients are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them

…you can’t cure stupid

…you’ve seen more moons than the Hubbell Telescope

…you hope there’s a special place in hell for the inventor of the base page

…you never use the words “quiet” or “slow” to describe your shift because as soon as you say it, it will cease to be so.

…you wash your hands before you go to the bathroom

…you’ve ever thought a blood pressure cuff would be an excellent christmas gift

…you’ve ever spent more money on a stethescope than on a car payment

…you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil

…you know it’s a full moon without having to look at the sky

…eating mircowave popcorn from a clean k-basin is perfectly natural

…you believe in the aerial apraying of prozac

…you believe that the “Tele-Health” progam is a Satanic plot

…you believe that every amulance should come equipped with a valium salt lick

…your idea of a good time is a code 4 as soon as your relief walks in

…you keep a little black book of your regulars to save you having to talk to them

…you start each shift by pre-filling for your regulars

…you have listed “HBD” as a final diagnosis

…you have used the “occular” method to check vital signs

…you know and have used the “East end assessment”

More to follow??